…and now for something completely different

Sometimes, when a gal has had too much of her rock life, she will do a reality check. Exhausted b too many 3am bedtimes (See 12/23, 12/25, 12/29,12/31, 1/1, 1/4, 1/6, 1/12…) and multiple road trips, overwhelmed with the notion of possibly selling our little mod pad and moving (more as that progresses) and simply recovering from the cold I think everyone has had, I did what any mature adult would do. I ran away from home to see my mom.

Actually, while I did have a few pleasant visits with my actual parents- receiving some late Christmas gifts and catching up on neighborhood news, the real mom of which I speak is my younger sister Pam. President of the Stoughton Mom’s Club, driver of and SUV, involved in every aspect of my niece Madeleine’s life, sometimes I think that Mom is an official job title for her and should be capitalized.

As timing would have it, my emotional meltdown occurred just as Pam’s husband Sean was leaving to spend a week in China on business and Pam and Mad were just getting over being sick. Thank god for Southwest Airlines and their last minute flights- they were able to turn a simple “CH is going to be in the studio and busy for the next 5 days” comment into a last minute jaunt up to Massachusetts, by way of Providence. With no one but a 2 year old and an under exercised dog keeping her company, sis readily agreed to pick me up at the airport less than 48 hours after our chat.

The wackiness leading up to my departure only reinforced my need to get away for just a bit:

Getting caught in morning commuter traffic heading up and back to our possible new home to meet the inspector, I ended up being hours late for work, only to bow out a few hours early so I could accompany CH to a gig in New Hope PA (great town- go visit!).

We fight evening commuter traffic up to New Hope, eat dinner at the the Triumph Brewing Company, leave to check out John and Mike’s for one drink, then return to the Triumph in time for sound check.

We were to leave right after CH’s set since I had an early flight, but friends showed up and the next thing you know we are heading to The Raven for last call.

Not only did we leave New Hope MUCH later than we should have, but we also had to make a stop at our friend Martin’s garage in North East Philly to pick up my car. So we both drive home separately and get home oh, about 2:30am.

Downing some water and vitamins, I pray that my alarm clock won’t fail me. Two short hours later the alarm buzzes and I get up and get ready for my 6:30am flight.

As soon as I arrive in Providence and settle myself into the back seat of the SUV, next to my cutie patootie niece Madeleine, I know that over the next few days I will be visiting a parallel universe to my own. As Monty Python would put it, “ And now for something completely different”.

Pam informs me that within the next hour we have to drop Pixie off at the kennel, go through Dunkin Donuts drive through and then accompany Mad to her craft class at the YMCA. We are not even back in Massachusetts yet. I look forward to the drive through part anyhow, as I pretty much know how that will go, the rest will be an adventure.

Just getting in and out of the car with a toddler is an adventure in itself. Unlock, unbuckle, where is her sippy cup? I feel like Madeleine as I clutch my hot tea like a security bottle as we weave our way through a sea of small folks and make our way to the bowels of the old Y building, where Miss Linda has set up little crafts on little tables.

I perch myself on a little chair in the corner and try to look like I belong here, though in my black leather coat and clunky black boots I realize I might not be the picture of a suburban mom. I hear myself begin to refer to myself in the third person, telling Madeleine loudly that “Auntie Beth will be sitting right over here”, thus also letting the parents know that I am supposed to be here and I am not some child catcher lurking in the corners.

I sip my tea and watch Mad as she flits from table to table like a butterfly – painting with toothbrushes, gluing pompoms and felt scraps onto construction paper teddy bears and even trying her hand at drawing with soap on black paper. I also see my sister, like the other parents in the room, trying to keep up with her little whirlwind, praising her artistic ability, and collecting up all of the potential Picassos destined for the fridge door. I am amazed at the upbeat and positive tones of their voices since their eyes look just as tired as mine.

Before I know it craft class is over and we are collecting up last week’s projects, cramming M into her pink puff of a parka, surveying for straggling mittens and walking slowly up the stairs, making sure Mad has one hand on the banister and one hand on Auntie Beth. Back across the icy parking lot we again unlock, buckle up and pack ourselves back into the SUV. Sometimes the setup and the teardown takes more time than the actual gig.

The day goes by much in the same way, in and out of the car for errands, a short break at naptime and then a visit to my youngest sister’s place where Madeleine can cavort with my other toddler niece Kaileigh. Take two toddlers and put them in a room together and you could probably light up a small town with the energy produce. Even though they are great pals, there is a constant stream of “she took that from me! I want my turn!” and a very dramatic interlude when Kaileigh bumps her head on the kitchen table. I think my sister Katie and I caught up a bit on each other’s lives, but I am not sure, since I am definitely feeling the effects of only having 2 hours of sleep. I feel comforted by the fact that toddlers are really just babies still, and well, babies go to bed early, right?

An early bedtime is not in the cards for Auntie Beth however, as Mom Pam has one more toddler related treat up her sleeve. It seems as if Giggles the clown is making her weekly appearance at Papa Ginos and Pam has arranged for all of the members of the Moms Club to be there. I feel like I am making one more stop on the “this is what your life would be like if your life was not like it is” tour.

I am definitely feeling the after effects of my lack of sleep and weeks of rock and roll as we order our pizza and find a table. The place is teeming with screamers swirling all around my knees, giddy with the anticipated arrival of Giggles. I try to pretend I am in a crowded nightclub but the bright lights and checkered tablecloths don’t help. At this point in my very long day I am somewhat convinced that Mom Pam is getting a certain amount of glee out of introducing me to her Mom pals and letting all of them know that I am not used to this scene. If you’re not from the suburbs then don’t come to the suburbs! You wouldn’t understand…or something like that.

From this vantage point the thought of my Rock and Roll Husband taking the train to New York City with his Entertainment Lawyer to sign a Publishing Deal sounds like something I read about in TV Guide, rather than what is really happening during my absence. A few days more in Momland and I will probably understand why Pam and Sean have such a hard time staying up past 10, which is when CH and I usually go out for the evening. It is not even 6:30 yet and I am ready to drop. Mom Pam informs me that after we meet Giggles we have to pick up the dog, go to CVS and get some milk. I guess sleep will have to wait, just like at home.